Hillsong - Desert Song

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Time flies...sometimes a bit too fast for me where I'm like hold on, lemme catch up!
Life really takes a lot of planning and wisdom.  Praying lots.  Need to find a home where we can develop good memories and serve Him and others best.  From the sermon at church today, I was thinking about this...Working in Ravenswood and living in UIC area has given me two quite different perspectives of the city.  I did at one time live in Ravenswood as well.  I didn't really like living in that particular part of ravenswood as much.  But the part literally right by my work, I'm actually growing to love the Andersonville/Ravenswood/Lincoln Square area a lot.  I have a lot of daily time to explore that part since I work there and often go out during lunch with/without my coworkers.  I've walked around there quite a bit and been to many stores and restaurants near there.  I often visit Lincolnwood area as well.  The neighborhoods and the people there are just really cool people.  I like that there are just so many places you can go to and there are a bunch of parks too.  A lot of families taking their kids to play little league and such.  There's this local bakery I've visited for a while now and one of the owners there just had a baby.  She's so cute.  It's so cute to see her grandpa playing with the baby while the mom works.  At the same time, who knows how long I'll stay at that job so maybe no point to move there.  But then again, there are actually a lot of small artsy/design companies by there even in the same building.  My work is still talking about moving but who knows when that will happen.  I do also like the area North of Costco on Damen and South of my work.  It is nice on that street too but man those condos/houses are freakin expensive.  Too bad.
Then there's the UIC area that I kinda know well too because of going to school there for the short time that I did and developing friendships with people there.  Housing around here are a bit high too for sometimes not as worth the price.  Also I used to always go to Pilsen area weekly to do errands/study/hang out with people at some local cafes that had free wi-fi and good deli food.  I probably know that area more than I know where we live now.  I'm not sure why that is.  I guess when I'm here I just too scared to go out around here and it's not as...how do you say...there's not so many places to visit around here that are very accessible or just that I'd want to go to.  I have to drive a bit to get to those kind of places.  Like I've liked to go to the local market even though in a hispanic part it is owned by polish people.  We live on the border between where there's the bad neighborhood and the OK one (safety wise) so if we go to the bad part it is just scary but I go down there to the blockbuster and the supermarket there has a variety of things.  I just was talking to one of the pople there who was wondering what Tofu was haha.  Then he's like this chinese guy he knows gave me a bunch of collard greens, how do you cook that?  I was like uh, I don't even know what that is.  I said the easiest way is to stir fry with some garlic, salt and olive oil which is what I do with most veggies.  He was like, that's easy for you but not easy for me haha.  Then I went on to the cashier line, I bought napa cabbage and the cashier was like bok choy!  She said it really loud.  I was like um no wait, that's napa.  She's like ohhhh.  We have to drive a bit more east to get to the more developed area too since just walkable distance is not very developed.  I must like it better when it is more developed because I expect to walk to places when living in the city.  I don't like driving like 5 minutes somewhere when I could just walk esp if it's a sunny day.  I walked around while I was living at the dorms downtown too...if not took the bus around well partly cuz I had to but I took advantage of it.

If I speak in the tongues^[languages] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing. -- [ 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 ]

If only we really truly love ALL the time...not just begrudgingly, not just because we're told to, not like in a fantasy happily ever after fairy tale kind of love either...I'm thankful we have a lifetime to learn what that means and to show it.

 

On a side note...it seems like songs sound like older songs nowadays.  For example: Maroon 5's "Won't Go Home Without You" reminds me of Lionel Richie's "I Just Called To Say I Love You."

So I've been watching this show during my lunch breaks at work...it's been interesting.  I don't actually agree with this way of finding your mate and even more I don't agree with the girl pursuing the guy but the show still somehow intrigues me.  Up until last week there was this one man who professed that he was a virgin, doesn't swear, always smiles, was a strong Christian, and lived his life trying very hard to be distinct from all those around him.  I partly agree with his belief but I think Christians can be TOO careful and trying TOO hard to be different...to not follow the crowd...to not do the wrong thing, etc.  I think we are different from the world though, otherwise, why are we named Christians, why aren't we just like everybody else?

Anyhow, he was definitely a very competitive person which is hardwired in general for guys.  He even got very jealous of this one man who became the front-runner of the show and the dispute got very heated with a bunch of guys telling that front-runner he was being disrepsectful of the other guys.  I guess I agree that that guy was flaunting his high-status in front of them maybe intentionally, maybe not but it would make people upset I suppose.  At the back of my mind though I'm thinking well what the heck do you expect going into this kind of situation having liek 20 guys after one girl?  But it did get very heated and mostly led by the professed Christian who even said something like don't be an *bleep* which I could only assume is "butt."  So most of the beliefs he very much professed about came crashing down at this point.  The sin really just took over him and he was not smiling at this point.  He also ended up not getting a rose and was so pissed off about it.  I think he seemed the most pissed off out of all the guys that got kicked off last week.  He was like I really don't know what kind of guy she wants now if those are the ones left there and don't think the perfect guy is out there for her and thought he was perfect for her or something like that.  I was thinking well you're the one that's supposed to pursue the girl not the other way around.  I thought it was an interesting episode.  Makes me think about how I was listening to this one thing once about how Christians are being portrayed in media.  It makes me think about that quote that DC Talk said in the prelude of their song "What If I Stumble?" "The greatest single cause of Athiestism in the World today is Christians, those who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, and walk out the door to get on with their lifestyle. That, is what one unbelieving world, simply finds unbelievable. "

It's the Church who isn't representing Christ.  Amazing.  Scary to believe but true?  I'm not saying that guy was just completely off but it just goes to show that we are all sinners too even how much we try ourselves to do something correctly.  Life is tough because tons of bad stuff come out of us and come into us.  I don't doubt there are those who do well but we all stumble.  I'm always afraid I stumble too and I do but God does help us.  I seem to just look at everything I do as actions to earn God's love or to make Him happy...and look at things as rules.  It's just so tough to not look at it that way when the world teaches us that and that's how we're brought up.  I keep reading how we have to know that God already loves us, Christ already gave us a clean slate by dying for us, and this shall FREE us to do the things we do and not make us grudgingly do things for God...and also not to earn more love but to honor Him.  It's such a difficult thing to live out....I suppose it is to be that way...we aren't to have it all figured out.  It takes a lifetime or more.  That could definitely discourage people though.  Oy.

What things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. -- Philippians 3:7

Wherever we are or will be, let us be able to give up all things for Christ.  I pray that we would not care so much about things that are from this world but how we can live for eternity...how we can make good memories with our families and friends and find true joy. 

It's hard to pick what to save and what not to sometimes because maybe I'll need it later. I'm sure Paul's not just talking about material things though...just whatever is "gain."  Maybe what keeps you from serving Christ and others fully?  Whatever that means is between them and God I guess.  Sometimes I think I may not feel guilty about something so it's okay right?  Or is it?  Takes a lot of prayer and guidance.

Even as we look at houses too...makes us think about what are important features/factors.  Mostly just been praying that God will keep/take us to a place that we can serve God best and build our family on a Rock....and build some truly happy memories...not just the superficial happiness and superficial stuff that don't matter in the end.  One big thing for me is I like a home that feels homey/cozy from just being there...and even the definition of homey is different for everybody.  Also don't want to regret the decision every day of our time at the place we end up at.

Listening to....OneRepublic: Dreamin' Out Loud album & Hillsong United: I Heart Revolution album.

Chicago has got to be one of the prettiest cities in the US.  Its skyline is perfectly outlined and laid plus it's like an actual city city not just really spread out buildings and nobody is there.  Downtown has got to be the hardest to find street parking and hardest and most stressful to drive because of all the crazy cab drivers and even pedestrians that walk even though it's red...they even just walk without looking to see if any cars are coming.  I'm just surprised and relieved I have not hit any person yet.  One thing they finally got not too long ago was the crosswalk countdown timer that was seen in asian countries like Taiwan and Japan way before us.  Now why are we so far behind in technology when we are the strongest nation in military?  You would think it'd trickle down.  I love that we have those things because for drivers like me, I got to watch out for when the traffic light will change because of the many cameras around trying to give us a ticket as well as the much shorter time the orange light stays on.  In the suburbs there are no problems with that since you got plenty of time even if it turns orange.  Plus there are no crosswalk countdown timers in the burbs, at least I have not seen any.  I usually check the crosswalk flashing signals so I know somewhat if I need to slow down near the traffic light or not...if it just turned from walk to a flashing don't walk signal then I got plenty of time.  I cannot really use that strategy in the burbs though because the don't walk signal doesn't flash.  They just stay static even when the light is green.  I do remember those push for walking signal buttons by each traffic light in the burbs though so that it'll tell you when a pedestrian can cross and there isn't a lot of that in the city.

Another thing I've been noticing is the expensive living expenses, in particular housing.  I don't know how people can get by paying so much.  I just saw an ad for a 1 bedroom or studio condo for 1.3 million dollars to buy.  What the heck is that?  That is literally in downtown though.  Outside of downtown but still in the city costs an average of $250,000 but I think it's usually more than that.  I suppose if you have a job that pays very well for you to be able to afford that it works out but you are probably working well over 40 hours a week so nobody wants that right?  Where is there time for other things?   We've been looking at other housing and been needing to weigh what is really important to decide which house to buy.  I know every house will have its quirks and problems but whether or not it's a tolerable issue will make our decision harder.  For instance, we have a water leaking issue at our current house and is just not something we'd like to deal with in the next like 10 years we'd probably live there.  Stuff like not enough cabinet space in the kitchen, only 1 car garage space doesn't get very bright in the dining area, or narrow hallways is something tolerable... something we can work around, well the car space though can be intolerable if street parking was very unsafe like getting our cars broken into and stuff which has not happened thus far, thankfully.

Of course there are so many complaints of living in the city but at the same time it's doable I'm sure.  I don't doubt that.  It's just very unknown right now where we'll be and where God wants us to be regardless of where we may think is best....but it really takes wisdom from Him to develop what we think is best.  Meanwhile we have to pray earnestly while waiting and also initiating whatever with dependence on God not on ourselves and seeing His plan unfold.  Sometimes it's hard to know when we are really depending on God when we do things or if we're just blind to see that we're not doing that but just doing it on our own strength.

Been thinking and praying about a lot of things lately...maybe that's why I've been dreaming so much lately.  I tend to thikn that's the case because my mind is always active so it comes out even when I sleep.  Trying to just take it one day at a time too which is what I believe strongly.  We can't just rush into things especially big decisions.  And at the same time everything is for and from God.  Many people advise us in certain ways or another but ultimately we are the ones that really decide and live with the decision whether it was a good or bad decision.  It is also different for everybody too since we lead different lives.  I don't feel as if we should just do everything all at once, just doesn't seem wise.  Like we were going to get a dog before but that has been put on hold because it just doesn't make sense to get one when we don't even know where we will be living in the next few years yet....it would just put more stress on the dog which isn't fair to it and then in turn make more stress on us...it already calls for a lot of work at the beginning just getting and having a dog.  We're also just limited to what furniture we should buy too.  We're buying what we need first which was the dining table so we got that.  As you get older, just more and more responsibilities and decisions.

One year ago, people around the world were stunned by a shooting rampage that left 32 victims dead on the campus of Virginia Tech University. In the aftermath, the mother of one critically wounded student who survived said she did not want the ordeal to become the defining moment in her son's life. Instead, she hoped it could be "something positive, some great celebration of his life."

When the unthinkable happens, it may seem impossible to believe that anything can overcome the emotional scars. Yet, the life of Joseph offers a powerful illustration of God's transforming power (Gen. 37–50). The brothers who sold him into slavery were sure he would take revenge on them (50:15-17). But Joseph told them, "You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive" (v.20).

When we place our desire for revenge in God's hands, we become participants in the remarkable process described by Paul: "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Rom. 12:21).

The defining moments of our lives are not determined by the evil done to us, but by our response through the grace and power of God.  — David C. McCasland